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Full Circle, lost and found again...




Eyes glued to the screen my heart just missed a beat or two only to start pumping again like mad, I realize I have stopped breathing, my stomach is in a knot and I feel goosebumps all over my body. Slowly I take a deep breath,  and another one but now I feel  tears welling up in my eyes, this is my boy, my big boy is looking for a home because his adopted mother for 8 years is leaving country trying to make a living abroad.
Never in my life did I think I would find my big boy,  my very first Ridgeback here on the Rhodesian Ridgeback Rescue Site...
For the past few weeks I had been looking to adopt a Ridgeback, in my heart I knew it was going to be someone very special, one that would make my heart beat  faster the moment I would find him,  it had to be male because I had a female Labrador already and we both felt there was someone missing, after my two  beloved Ridgebacks had passed away within 18 months...
And here I see him and his companion Labrador on the site desperately looking for a new home, as his adopted mommy is leaving country in a weeks time,. Time is running out fast,  he is 10 years old and the chances of him being adopted at his age are slim. I look at his face, he looks so sad, all white he is now; my big boy has grown old and at first I hardly recognize him, but as I continue to research the details of the ad I know it is him, the name is giving it away.  Schatzi, under my tears I have to smile, my late husband always moaned the fact that our Shaka was renamed to Schatzi (Darling in German) but it was the prerogative of his new mommy to name him and make him her own!
I had to get away from my laptop  trying to compose myself, emotions are running high;  I feel elated that he is still alive, that he had a wonderful life in the country side, Riebeek Kasteel, chasing ducks and sheep, roaming the vineyard, having long walks. Oh I remember how often  he disappeared in the vineyards and only our helper was able to locate Shaka's whereabouts; head hanging down on the lead he would arrive back home knowing very well that he had done wrong he'll put his head on my lap asking for forgiveness and how could you not, looking into his beautiful amber eyes I hug him and again all is forgiven!
My big boy, my heart goes out but I am afraid, I am afraid to loose you, again. Loosing the two beautiful Ridgebacks you sired, my best friends, my trusted companions was so hard and I am afraid I can not go through it again, the heartache is to much to bear there were just to many losses these past few years...
I look at you now, sleeping peacefully in front of the heater I listen to your breath, watching you as you dream,  I couldn't bear the thought of you going anywhere else but coming home to me, my big boy. Life's twists and turns has brought you back to me and I wouldn't want to have it any other way!

Comments

Anonymous said…
What a very special story - I wish you well and hope that your boy enjoys his remaining years back where he belongs.
November 1, 2012 at 5:16 PM
Angelique said…
Thank you, I am treasuring every moment we have together!
November 1, 2012 at 6:54 PM
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