Poems and Ponderings

During the past few days this verse popped into my head, most of you might familiar with it: T o everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the sun. A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted; a time to kill and a time to heal ... a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance ... a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to lose and a time to seek; a time to rend and a time to sew; a time to keep silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. ecclesiastes 3:1-8   It very much ties in with my lessons learned these past few years... 

I was going through my books, yes I am still writing(almost) every day ;), and came across this: I have learned that every choice I made brought me here - where I am today... I have learned to have faith and trust the process (life) I have learned waking up each morning with hope is what got me going I have learned to find peace within myself I have learned  that a smile shared is a gift.... I wrote this one the other day when I was decorating my home for Christmas, the first time after 4 years, and my mind wandered, thinking of the last few years and how this process of life, and  trust and faith brought me to where I am today...

Visit this blog for some very well written Haikus, well worth visiting I promise! http://garapan-mouthofmadness.blogspot.com/p/haikus.html

Only after the last farmer has been killed When the last tree has been cut When the beasts have left the open plains When the waters are filled with toxins of the dead Then they'll turn against each other 2011, © JSZ Adapted from this following poem: Only after the last tree has been cut down. Only after the last river has been poisoned. Only after the last fish has been caught. Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten”. Prophecy of the Cree Native American Tribe

In case you wondered why I used  'resurrect and not rise' in my last post: last line: ...to let go and in the end resurrect like the Phoenix out of the Ashes! http://www.thefreedictionary.com/resurrect

Ode to Me I received a few emails voicing  concerns about the last line of my poem ... spread my wings and die Lets have look at the date, it is the year 2008,  as it is important to understand my frame of mind when I wrote this poem. In this Ode to Me, I begin by acknowledging that I am a strong woman and a free spirit. And then I continue to realize that I am about to, need to, change... 'spreading my wings and fly' After the first year of mourning my husbands passing it was time to leave the 'old' me behind, leaving behind the boundaries of a relationship and spread my winds...to die, which is really more of a metaphor. In order to spread my wings I need to leave something/someone behind and that in itself is a death. There is a lyric of a German song that just came to mind: Good bye is a little bit like dying... And there were a lot of Good Byes in 2007/2008 for me. The passing of my husband of 25 years, scattering his ashes, the selling of my house and

For a long time I had this idea of combining my poetry with my painting. Today I can say  I am getting closer in accomplishing this. Here is my latest Feather painting combined with one of my poems using Photoshop. This is not yet where I want to be but I am getting there... Visit my complete gallery and online shop here: www.southafricanartists.com/home/Angelique

A poem written some time back, dedicated to all women... I am and I have been I am now and I am yesterday I have seen time passing And I have moved alongside time I have seen the world change And changed with the world I have lived my life - Not always graciously But always determined to make it And here I am now Been there done that I see the world as it is around me But it does not affect me anymore I am at peace At peace with myself and the world around me I am content And I live my life as it was the last day of my life I am here and there and tomorrow I am past, present and future I AM Freestyle © J.Schulte-Zurhausen , 2011

Forgiveness a great gift... We always hear to forgive, others and ourselves, so let me share a personal story about forgiveness: About 30 years back I had to oblige to a request of my mother to do something that was so completely against my own believe, but analytically I could understand her reasoning and as a 'good' daughter  I followed her instruction. For years this haunted me, I could forgive myself, but had the other person forgiven me??? So it came as a completely surprise when one day I received an email from that person telling me how grateful she was for doing what I did back then.  (I am afraid I can't go into details, as it involves a family member and very private details). Believe me I was first in shock, because we have never spoken about it, no one ever mentioned it again in all these years and then the tears just welled up washed away the pain that I carried for all these years. Forgiveness is a powerful gift indeed. So today phone or email som

Like a tattoo you are forever engraved into my soul.  Your unconditional love Your faith Your companionship You have taught  and accompanied me faithfully through your short life Your life was a miracle A little fighter, Rejected by your mother, Fighting parvo A miracle baby you were called A shoebox baby, tiny, tiny fitting just, But a heart as big as the universe My little Socky, Socks, rest in peace until one day we will all meet again.

Life Cycles, yesterday I had to put down my beloved Ridgeback, he was only 9 years. He had been ill for almost a year, a tumor diagnosed last year had spread to his stomach; the last few days he was very frail and my heart was sore seeing but not believing what was about to happen. It was the second time I had to put a beloved friend to rest and it doesn't get any easier! But I do know he is with his sister now who crossed the Rainbow Bridge last year. As I was cleaning the house, washing  his blankets etc today I couldn't help but thinking of life cycles; if you do Numerology you do know that we go through different cycles in life.  Well, since yesterday when I arrived back home I had this sudden feeling that a life cycle was completed, not only because of the passing of my dog.  The last few years for me were all about death, death of my pets, my husband, but also death in a spiritual way, letting go of many thoughts and thought pattern, letting go of many previous att

I was lucky finding a book with poetry at the thrift shop, one of the poems which stood out today is this one: Then God smiled, And the light broke, And the darkness rolled up on one side, And the light stood shining on the other, And God said, "That's good!"   Read the whole poem here: http://www.poetry-archive.com/j/the_creation.html

The other day I came across this little poem which I will print out as a reminder Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. Life is beauty, admire it. Life is bliss, taste it. Life is a dream, realize it. Life is a challenge, meet it. Life is a duty, complete it. Life is a game, play it. Life is a promise, fulfill it. Life is sorrow, overcome it. Life is a song, sing it. Life is a struggle, accept it. Life is a tragedy, confront it. Life is an adventure, dare it. Life is luck, make it. Life is too precious, do not destroy it.   Life is life, fight for it.   Mother Teresa

Roberta Allen writes in her book ' Fast Fiction' ...Writing is energy, psychic energy. When the desire is really strong, there's a lot of energy in that desire. The more energy the better.... Without energy, writing is dead, it is just words... It's exciting to start something new. It's also scary. It's okay to be scared. In fact, the more scared you are the better. There's a lot of energy in being scared.... So think of your fear as a place to begin. From my own experience I can 100 % support this statement. But take it a bit further, any kind of strong emotion, such as love, loss, grief, anger, any kind of strong emotion will help you to write! Of course we should Freewrite (timed writing), every day, no matter how our emotions are! When I read through my journals and my poems, the strongest writings were when I was in some kind of strong emotional state. Start writing, don't think, sit down and allow your pen/cil to move freely. Write about your love,

It has been some hectic few weeks, with the birth of my first grandson and then getting ill etc, etc... As exciting as it all was nothing prepared me for all these old memories of mine  to resurface, I thought I had put them nicely in a drawer and threw away the keys in typical Aquarius/Scarlett O'Hara style! ;) But boy oh boy did I remember, the good, the bad and the ugly... What did help me was writing it all down, trying to make sense of my emotions, acknowledging the memories and letting them go. It does help, writing it down that is, it brings order to a confused, upset mind and the emotions and the tears ..., well they do say cleaning is done with water... So a lot of cleaning/cleansing was done and my guess is that it never really ends, so I have my journals and my pen/cils ready for my daily pages, for any thoughts that cross my mind during the day and yes I do go for the jugular, no sense in going only halfway, isn't it?

To tense to sleep Charged with new vitality Parade of visions before her eyes Filled with a new sense of purpose Yesterday she was a nobody going nowhere Now she knew who she was and where she is going Hers was a special destiny... Found this in my journal but did not make a note of the author, if anyone knows please let me know I would appreciate it!

I know I have been very quite on this blog, somehow when I paint I am not really in the writing mood and when I write I am not in the painting mood... Yesterday evening the following lines came to my mind which I will somehow use in a poem ... There is a smile in every tear There is tear in every smile c 2011 Angelique ....

Are you willing To reach within Into your darkest self To find your soul?

Here is a link on her workshops for anyone interested: http://www.nataliegoldberg.com/workshop.html

Yesterday evening I decided to enter one of my poems into a competition. First time ever! So let's see...  I have also been made aware of the fact that a lot of the competition organizers/publishers request material that has not previously been published, web or otherwise, so in future I might only publish bits and pieces of my poetry.

Natalie Goldberg writes in her book -Writing Down the Bones, Shambahala 1983, page 8 'Go for the jugular' If something comes up in your writing that is scary or naked, dive right into it. It probably has lots of energy.... Page 9 ... at the beginning you may feel great emotions and energy that will sweep  you away, but don't stop writing.... I have filled to many journals to count and most of them during my time of grief, when my husband passed away, when my beloved dog passed away, when I went on my 9 months overseas odyssey, filling the pages with my thoughts, my sorrows, my pains, my triumphs and my defeats.  Reading through some of it now I find those pages where heavy tears fell down on them, but I continued writing, there were days when I became so angry I literally threw the book into the next corner, -to much french blood in my veins, lol- but I continued writing. I simply went for the jugular....

Roberta Allen writes in her book ' Fast Fiction' ...Writing is energy, psychic energy. When the desire is really strong, there's a lot of energy in that desire. The more energy the better.... Without energy, writing is dead, it is just words... It's exciting to start something new. It's also scary. It's okay to be scared. In fact, the more scared you are the better. There's a lot of energy in being scared.... So think of your fear as a place to begin. From my own experience I can 100 % support this statement. But take it a bit further, any kind of strong emotion, such as love, loss, grief, anger, any kind of strong emotion will help you to write! Of course we should Freewrite/timed writing, every day, no matter how our emotions are! When I read through my journals and my poems, the strongest writings were when I was in some kind of strong emotional state. Start writing, don't think, sit down and allow your pen/cil to move freely. Write about your love, y

Nandini You felt my pain And made it your own You felt my anger And made it your own Until one day Your time had come to go I felt your pain And knew it was time To let you go on to your last journey Heavy lay your head in my hand You amber eyes looking into mine One last time you trusted me As so often you did before To do the right thing To make you whole again Go in peace my friend Until one day You will great me At the rainbow bridge Guiding me again And I will trust you Following your lead As I had done so many times before Freestyle, 2010 © JSZ, Angelique A farewell to my trusted and beloved Ridgeback Nandini, I helped her into this world on the 8. October 2002 and was with her as she left this world on the 27. February 2010. Nandini I am still missing you!

Today I had time again to go through some of my old journals and came across this little freestyle poem. Eagles are close to my heart, so they will always find their ways into my writings. How do I get my poems, easy actually, I write in FREESTYLE about something that is on my mind or a topic I choose, usually about 4 pages and then I leave it. I don't look at what I have written for a day or two sometimes even longer and then one day whilst reading through it I will pick passages I like, those that - talk - to me and from those I create a poem. Eagles circling high Standing in the open field on a clear crisp morning one of these perfect days Eyes wandering to the distance Eagles circling high  in the sky calling, calling for its mate a sound so lonely so forlorn Watching it circling  high in the sky my heart and soul opens and I am letting go and fly with the winds of life Freestyle, 2008

This is one of my favorite poems of the english language and I shall restrict my postings to those only, unless requested otherwise... Annabel Lee     It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of ANNABEL LEE And this maiden she lived with no other thought Than to love and be loved by me. I was a child and she was a child, In this kingdom by the sea; But we loved with a love that was more than love- I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven Coveted her and me. And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling My beautiful Annabel Lee; So that her highborn kinsman came And bore her away from me, To shut her up in a sepulchre In this kingdom by the sea. The angels, not half so happy in heaven, Went envying her and me- Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea) That the wind came o

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers.   ~Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires With that in mind: where is my wine then?

I started reading veeery early, some of my early memories are Peter Rabbit, Pooh Bear and a  story book with  Fairies. Because I grew up with an older and a younger brother I got to read Karl May, Jules Verne and the like. I still remember when my mother gave me one of her books, I must have been 10, Gone with the Wind. Well after all the boys books it was definitely something different and it took me a long time to start reading this one but once I started I could not stop. Later as a young woman I read this book again and took a lot of courage from it. Once when I was ill my father came home with a book just for me, what a treat!!!   Little Women by Mary Alcott, which is still  my absolute favorite book , and my favorite character was Jo! Jo is a very unconventional person, a free spirit if you wish, she has a big heart and is the writer to be, she would always withdraw into the attic to write equipped with apples... In the years I have read many books but I will always rem

There is so much going on in our lives that we seem to think we don't have time to write, trust me you have time, 10 - 15 minutes a day is all you need. You could get up 10 minutes earlier in the morning, write in the bus, in the train, in your break, after lunch, after dinner, you WILL find time if you WANT to write, trust me. And always, always have a little notebook in your hand/bag, pocket or car. The other day driving to my hardware store, I had a strong sense of my late husband sitting next to me and as I was <talking> to him a few lines for a poem came to mind. I recited it over and over again until I could stop and write it down. Then I kept this little booklet of A6 in my hand, wrote down some more lines with my booklet on the bonnet of my car and  a some more while I was in the hardware store... Looking back it must have looked quite funny, but then again being at the hardware store one could imagine I was writing down my list... lol

Visit wikihow on how to Freewrite at the following link: http://www.wikihow.com/Freewrite I was introduced to Freewriting during workshops I attended and found it to be a valuable tool in opening up to write. Usually I have a vague topic in mind  which I write on top of the page and then I start writing, nothing planned, nothing organized, just allowing the words to flow. Quite often I find I drift away from my chosen topic and that is fine as well as it shows me there is another story lingering in my subconscious mind wanting to come out and be written Freewriting is an exercise to help to get your muse flowing.  Write - do NOT stop until your timer goes off. Do NOT lift your pen from the paper, even if this means writing, "I don't know what to write," over and over again. Write nonsense, write anything, but don't stop writing . Look back over what you've written and see if anything sparks your interest. If so, use it as a point of departure for anoth

When I lived out in the Valley, Riebeek Valley that is, ever so often I would hear the Eagle's cry and would watch them for as long as possible. It is a love I shared with my late husband so whenever I hear the Eagle calling I would be thinking of him as well.  So here is my little poem in freestyle. Eagles soaring in the sky Majestic, free, soaring high Calling for its mate to join In a dance of love and life Calling, soaring, endless sky   2008, © JSZ, Angelique   

Dance Entrancing, enchanting Return of happiness Fairies dancing all around Magic © JSZ,Angelique, 2011 or taken from my previous poem Be Dance barefoot Feel the earth Be in the moment Now © JSZ,Angelique, 2011 There seems to be some different opinions in regard to the structure of a Cinquain , but I think I got pretty close here. Try it yourself it is not that difficult... As you can see I love creating poems and poetry!

When writing as a therapy a person uses both hemispheres of their brain, which enables their experiences to become completely integrated into the mind. Writing has been proven to be an excellent form of stress relief for many people. All you require is a pen and journal, or even a piece of paper and a quiet area where you can explore and write down your thoughts. This makes it one of the most inexpensive forms of therapy, or where it is impossible to get to a therapist due to distance Writing can release the tension in your mind by providing you with self-knowledge and allowing you the chance to heal emotionally. So go and get some paper, make a cup of coffee or tea or hot water, sit comfortably, be sure you won't be interrupted and start writing. Start with something  like: Here I am sitting now and am supposed to write... no idea what I am supposed to write... -continue like this for a minute and two and you will see all the sudden you have finished a few page

By nature I am a planner, it is very difficult for me to be just in the moment, so this poem is somewhat of a reminder for me to -Just be in the moment- I am getting there.... ;) This poem below is Pantoum Style   Be in the moment Feel the earth Dance barefoot Smell the roses Feel the earth Travel light Smell the roses Leave worries behind Travel light Cycle of ebb and flow Leave worries behind Look into the future Cycle of ebb and flow Dance barefoot Look into the future Be in the moment Pantoum, ©JSZ, Angelique, 2008

Why write?  ...A professor at a Kuwait University, brought together a group of  women.... to write out their psychological and social suffering... They found release in expressing themes of hidden emotion and inner turmoil. No matter where in the world you live, no matter how broken your life seems to be, the message comes through loud and clear: Writing heals. From HA Klauser , With Pen in Hand, Introduction Page xiii "I write because I am alone and move through the world alone. No one will know what has passed through me... I write because there are stories that people have forgotten to tell, because I am a woman trying to stand up in my life... I write out of hurt and how to make hurt okay; how to make myself strong and come home, and it may be the only real home I'll ever have." — Natalie Goldberg ( Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within ) 

  Now I am taking this poem I posted yesterday and I reverse it, meaning my last sentence is now my first sentence and so on. First the poem as posted yesterday then the reversed and we have what is called a PALINDROME One day, I know, One day, Not today or tomorrow, But one day  The pain will disappear And so one day I will rise like the phoenix out of the ashes. I will rise like the phoenix out of the ashes And so one day The pain will disappear ( But) one day Not today or tomorrow One day One day I know... © JSZ, Angelique, 2011                                                       Isn't that just cool??? 

A favourite quote of my late mother was, Rising like the Phoenix out of the Ashes. She would  use this quote in order to describe her feeling after a heavy migraine attack. This poem below was written whilst I was in Germany, after leaving South Africa for good or so I thought, and I remember vividly that day, it was the day before my birthday, 17.February 2009, a dark winter's day, the heater trying its best to combat the - 10 degrees outside and my 2 beloved Ridgebacks gently snoring in front of it. I had just sat down and written my daily pages about my experiences in this country of my birth, which had become so strange, leaving me feeling like a foreigner in my own country. Tears were streaming down my face as I wrote, feeling abandoned, rejected, lonely, and in emotional and physical pain. The last sentence and here I quote directly from my journal: ... It is a lonely path and a painful one, but eventually and this I also know, I will emerge like the proverbial Phoen

I am feeling a bit anxious about this one, almost like standing in front of a new white canvas with an idea in mind yet hesitant, where do I begin, the first stroke is almost like a plunge into the cold water. But this is not another art blog;  these are my pages dedicated to my writings, poems and ponderings... I started writing in 2006 after attending a creative writing class with established writer Anne Schuster and have been writing ever since, read more about me here